When the more you try, the harder it seems to get.
Sep 06 in Love
Walking the dog early this morning he ran into a bramble bush, as he fought to free himself, it only curled further around his neck trapping him even more. ‘Stop! Let me! ‘ I shouted and to my astonishment he did! He stopped and quietly waited for me to untangle him from the branch of thorns. I could reach the problem from a different angle, could see exactly what was causing the problem and easily freed him. He trusted me. It made me think…
How many times do we get caught up in a problem trying desperately to find a way out only making it worse? getting more and more tangled in the mess with every move. One wrong reaction can blow something completely out of proportion that really was not that big to begin with had it been handled properly. So easily done!
Another perspective can help me see the problem from another angle. It may be simple from where someone else is standing, perhaps they have been there before and know the best way to solve it. A helping hand can make all the difference if only we would stop and let us be helped!
We have been taught to be so independent, that we think we have to do everything alone. We have to be seen to be perfect, no flaws, no weaknesses. What we fail to see is that we need one another to grow. There is so much we can teach and learn from one another. I went to a Church growing up where I was blessed to have a lot of mother figures that I could go to if I had a problem and who I knew would give me sound advice. They didn’t always say what I wanted to hear, but when a truth needed to be said it was done sincerely however in so much love that I had to listen and knew they were right. I learnt invaluable lessons from each of them as they shared from what life had taught them.
Years later I was a mum with children of my own, I had a group of girls my age with whom I would meet up. We shared the good and the bad, our difficulties and our victories; that way we encouraged and learnt from one another and could benefit avoiding a pitfall from something another had been through (sometimes it’s just about getting the right key to open or close the right or wrong door). When one struggled, we all struggled and often bonds were strengthened as we saw through her willingness to make herself vulnerable, a strength of character that made her truly beautiful. There was no competition, no rivalry, no pretense, it was a cherished treasure that never loses its value but only increases with age (that does not mean we go around sharing everything with everyone, there is wisdom in sharing with those we know we can trust).
I was watching a very moving documentary a few days ago about a young journalist living alongside and reporting on the absolute devastation that affect people in war-torn countries. On one of his assignments he was following some American soldiers, lived with them for six months. The programme talked about the bonding connection between these soldiers, he said: “war is the only opportunity that men have in society to love each other unconditionally… its understanding the depth of emotion at war … the part of being part of a group is not reproducible in society … to look after each other, killed and kill for each other…” These men spent such long periods together and in such extreme circumstances that they shared everything, they saw the good and the bad, the strengths and weaknesses of each other, talked about their lives, their fears, their hopes, their families. On the battleground they didn’t know if they would all come back, they looked out for each other and bore the loss of friends as they were killed. Another soldier said, “war so terrible and then you miss it so terribly”. What was truly missed was that oneness from the battlefield.
Data suggests that we are facing an epidemic of loneliness, people are feeling more lonely than ever before, perhaps due to social media, perhaps due to our busy lives, our over independence; whatever the cause we need one another. Friendships keep us humble, knock off our rough edges and help us keep on going through the harder times. Like Moses, we need those who will hold up our arms when strength fails but need to be also those ready to be the ones to do the holding. Let’s not be too proud to ask for advice. We were not meant to ‘do life’ alone. We were built for relationships.
“Two are better than one … If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
“A friend loves at all times.”
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”
“A man of understanding walks straight. Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.”
“… how delightful is a timely word”